How Real Girls Wear...Skinny Jeans

Remember that scene in Sex and the City where Miranda finally gets back into her skinny jeans? I've already got several pairs like that hidden away waiting for the day when my muffin top finally disappears - post-student diet here I come! But the power Miranda feels once she gets back into those jeans cannot be ignored - there's something incredibly satisfying about squeezing yourself into these tricky, unflattering yet fabulous jeans.
According to t'internet, the skinny jeans, or 'drainpipe' jeans, originated in the 1950s; they were all the rage among the rocker boys, with Elvis cracking them out on many occassions. The 70s and 80s saw different fabrics and washes being used among many glam rock and metal bands, and by the 00s all the cool indie kids are wearing them everywhere. Kate Moss made them cool again for women, and ever since, every fashionista worth her salt owns a pair, albeit without the high waisted style popular in the early days.

A little ripping works a charm at Balmain (does that jacket on the right look familiar? Paging Topshop....)

I'm a classic pear-shape, but I'm also at that age where all the fashion columnists say you can apparently get away with wearing anything, so a skinny jean and vest-top combination always seems like a great idea until I catch my reflection in a passing car, and realise no, this was not my best-laid plan, but am unfortunately too far away from home to go back and put on a nice long t-shirt. So all I can do is put on my big dark glasses and strut out, hoping to distract any potential audience with my strut and my legs so that no-one notices my rather sizeable behind.
This is the plan, anyway.
I succumbed to the latest demin trend and bought a pair of ripped distressed skinnies the other week, from the always dependable asos.com. Now, as my mother always warned me, there are certain things you shouldn't order from websites - shoes and tight trousers. But of course, I like to think I am in control of my own shopping now, so I took her advice as loosely as possible.
Before ordering the skinny jeans, I first took a look at the model wearing them. Unlike me, she was in possession of only moderate curves, and all unwanted fat had either been cunningly repositioned or conveniently airbrushed. Clearly, these jeans are not designed for a girl with a bit more junk in the trunk.
But we girls are still determined to wear them. So, reluctantly, I looked at the size guide. Ugh. Now I feel fat.
Online rule Number One - order a size bigger than you would try on in a shop.
The jeans arrived. With a big of jumping, wriggling and yanking, they fit, albeit long in the crotch thanks to my 'degree baby' extra pounds.

Mischa Barton rocks Asos' Iggy Ripped Jeans, which I now own! Yay! A piece of celebrity!
So, now I have them on, how do I style them?
Obviously, as mentioned before, the long t-shirt is the best friend of the larger rear end. I have my trusty Union Jack one which is perfect for the grunge look skinny jeans are synonymous with. Battered Converse are a pre-requisite, but let the jeans do the talking and keep them simple black or white, especially if your top is a statement too. For a more sleek grunge look, go for a plain t-shirt in monochrome, though block colour is also doable, so long as it provides enough of a contrast with the colour of your jeans. Keep accesories to a minimum as these jeans are the focus of this outfit combination. For nighttime, if you're going out to place that allows ripped jeans, just add a darker top and killer heels, or moderate heels if like me you're not so comfortable in them. But more on that later.
Today, I went for a black vest, black Converse and my trusty long black jacket. It's actually part of my old school suit, machine washable, from good old M&S. And thanks to my mum, it also has my name-label in it. Oh yes, I looked cool. Very Balmain (see above).
Here are my three top ways to wear this outfit:

1. Classic Daytime (see left) It's been pretty warm these last few weeks, so I teamed my jeans with a loose black t-shirt for a combination of coolness and minimum sunburn to my shoulders! To add a bit of edge, I go for Converse rather than pumps, topped off with big colourful sunglasses and an oversized handbag.

Which is easy to turn into....

2. Classic Nighttime (see right) To cool down in the clubs and bars, I swap the
black t-shirt for a long vest-top, and my favourite black gladiator heels, downgrade my handbag for a small cross-body bag, and add a black jacket to combat nighttime chills.

But to jazz it up, and to add your personality to anyone else's look, you must always wear it your way.

3. My Way (see left) Always Converse, but with a more exciting t-shirt, statement bag or abundance of bold jewellery. The first time I wore my jeans, I added salmon-pink Converse and a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

Apologies for the radiator in the back of the photos!

Of course, these are the most basic forms of the looks I actually take out of the door - I add a jacket, and tonnes of jewelry every time. But these are just the basic ideas, the bases from which I work out my looks. Like many girls (at least, I HOPE like many girls), I plan my outfits the night before. These are the kind of basics I come up with.

UPDATE - The jeans modelled here are now in the 'sale' section of Asos.com: £24 for those awesome jeans! I may buy another pair....

1 comment:

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