Sometimes clothes just get in the way - New Moon highlights

And finally, I get to see it. Described as one of the most culturally relevant films of the year (well, teenage girl culture) The Twilight Saga juggernaut continued with New Moon storming the box offices last week. And finally, I got my slice of the action.
And while I could bitch and moan all day about what's wrong with the film (bring back the old director - the new guy just wants to do Harry Potter, as does the horrendous composer, who did the score for Benjamin Button, enough said) I thought I'd use the magic of illegal photos from inside the cinema (I DID NOT TAKE THESE) to show you what's right with it.

Ahhhh. Yup, that, right there, was worth the ridiculously overpriced ticket. (Again, apologies for promoting video piracy, but c'mon, that's Torso of the Year, right there.)
For more proof of why you should be Team Jacob, let's look at the evidence. 

On the left we have Exhibit A - cold, pasty vampire torso (with a pathetic spattering of chest hair).
On the right we have Exhibit B - warm, smooth, tanned werewolf torso. With muscles. Rippling muscles.
Well, the jury is out, but my verdict is in. It's alllllllll 'bout Team Jacob, people.


ModelWatch - Freja Beha

I was filling out a form for something fashion-related earlier in the day (don't ask), and one of the questions was 'who is your favourite model and why?'

Well, thinking about it, I rooted out all the classic choices (Agy, Daisy, Erin) and cast my mind back. To September's Vogue. Where a fabulous shoot called 'Enter the Dinner Dress' featured this gorgeous girl.

This is Freja Beha, a Danish model who is, depressingly, almost exactly two months older than me. Boy do I feel like a failure. But then again, I am not this hot, this svelthe, and this full of fabulous rocker attitude (the hair does help, I admit. With long hair she looks like Rachel McAdam's hot little sister. Which is no bad thing).

But c'mon! She's got a tattoo of a revolver on her bicep! In a totally cool way! And she can go from freakishly androgynous to gorgeously feminine in the blink of an angle.

And those eyebrows! I'm a tad obsessed with eyebrows since mine are so horrendous. I bet she can raise one in the amazingly expressive fashion that I covet. But it's not like she needs to anyway.

So, in short, my favourite model is Freja Beha, because she's amazing. No justification needed. She's got the coolness of Jaime Winston and Daisy Lowe, the body of a baby Kate Moss (that hasn't been ravaged by coke and Pete Doherty) and the face of Rebecca Hall and Rachel McAdam's best bits of DNA. There. Done.

Name Drop - Mary Katrantzou

Yeah, I know! Three posts in one day! I really took that STStyle article to heart, plus it's a really quiet day at work.
But I was also browsing back through some older blog posts and realised that I never did put up some pics of the wondrous, gorgeous masterworks by designer Mary Katrantzou.
And I said Basso and Brooke was art. This just takes it to a whole new level.
Apparently the collection is inspired by perfume bottles, and I can totally see that. But I wish more designers would be inspired by perfume bottles, as the dresses seem ideal for creating a perfect hourglass figure. The shapes and patterns draw attention solely to then, meaning you could probably not wear and make-up or shoes and no-one would notice. Everything about them exudes old-school glamour, elegance and indulgence, and something tells me that this is one brand that will be surviving the recession well into SS'10. She probably won't even need to change much. Basically, these arty beauties are timeless, and should I ever own one I wouldn't cheapen or debase it by wearing it, but I would buy a beautiful, big house, and just hang it in a beautiful big room. Like the potrait of Dorian Gray. Except I would look at it. Often. And marvel.

A little bit Gaga....

My mother would no doubt call them a stupid pointless piece of tat.
But who the hell cares? I was simultaneously amused and excited when I heard that Lady Gaga was launching her own range of....headphones (yes, headphones. She could have sold leotards by the bucketload, or amazing dragalicious make-up) but when I saw her wearing them in her 'Bad Romance' video I flipped a little bit.
Look at them. Aren't they pretty and cute? And for some reason they remind me a bit of the mind control earpieces used by the Cybermen in Doctor Who. Which I won't dwell on too much. But if I could have anyone control my mind, I guess Gaga wouldn't be too bad.
Oh no. She'd make me wear a leotard.

Ok, now I'm impressed - the new Emma Watson

I take it back. I was lamenting over the dull state of the fashion world at the moment, until I remembered 'tis the season for premieres a go go. Kristen Stewart has been doing her level best to rock around the clock, but a sly British soon-to-be star has snuck her way up behind her. 

This is Saoirse Ronan, the true star of Atonement and new star of Peter Jackon's The Lovely Bones, which premiered last night at Leicester Square. And my how this girl's grown up. Vertically unrecognisable, she's come a long way from being that plain gawky kid that first freaked us out with her stalker-like obsession with James McAvoy and Keira Knightley going at it in a library.
And that dress! As witnessed on Emma Watson, it's always tough for a young actress who until a few short years ago relied solely on her mum to dress her 24/7, and especially for smart events and premieres of Oscar-winning/tipped films (not Harry Potter). But somewhere in the last few years between childish glittery eyeshadow a fashionista has emerged, whereas little Emma Watson took far longer.
And did I mention Saoirse can actually act? And has already had one Oscar nomination? Exactly. A star is re-born a fashion star.


It's a blogger's world

I was saddened earlier this week to see, in the Sunday Times' hallowed Style magazine, that listed in their 'over/finished' column was 'bloggers that don't update daily'. Yes blog fan(s), it's tough out here for those of us who are a) busy in not one but two jobs b) not rich enough to peruse the cream of the fashion crop daily and c) just not that impressed with much fashion at the moment.
Well...I am impressed. Impressed at the gravity-defying madness of Alexander McQueen's crazy shoes (called Armadillo according to Grazia, but I've heard them called Alien and I much prefer that, as the only person who's been seen wearing them in public is the scary Daphne Guinness) that Lady Gaga wore for her latest video, a veritable orgy of skimmy, mad fashion. Impressed at Kristen Stewart's ongoing transformation from gawky teen to full on glamazon while still looking deeply skeptical about the whole thing. Impressed at the amount of killer outfits Rihanna can trot out and yet when required to deliver musically she cops out through, no doubt, sheer exhaustion.
But mostly I'm impressed at Tavi Gevison, the most famous blogger in the world aside from Belle de Jour (or that doctor woman what's in the tabloids a lot), who can update her blog daily with something totally cool, relevant and dippily, hilariously readable.
I, on the other hand, have no such luck. While Tavi has the world's designers rushing to her door with free stuff and invites, has a seemingly limitless knowledge of the world of fashion and has, presumably, very understanding teachers, I have the internet.
But the internet is good. While hidden away in the subterranean dungeon in which I work, I can feast my eyes on the fabulous offerings of AW '09 for when the Christmas party invites start. Yes, no-one I know is in a position to throw anything sophisticated yet young and hip enough to inspire real fashion stirrings in me, but if I was invited I would be dreaming of wearing Prada. I'm basically just obsessed with that dress. It's leather, it's velvet, it's red, it makes you look totally kick-ass (I imagine).
So, in short, I apologise to the world for not updating my blog enough. Despite the expanse of beautiful fashionsy things out there, it's a big scary world and a tiny, nervous blogger like me is intimdated by all the glory. But maybe once term ends I can kick off with some more fashion experimentation.There's a fabulous pile of shoeboxes in my wardrobe just waiting to be tried on, trotted out and taken round the Christmas shopping route.


These bad boys are always catching my eye...

*Ooh ay! ooh ah!*
Anywayyyyyyy, as mildly obsessed as I am with that song, the video and Alexandra's awesome dance skills, I'm mainly going nuts over her footwear it in.

Aren't they fabulous? Alexandra wears the red-strapped black version in the video but I'm loving these blue ones, worn recently by one half of Frost-French (I think it was the French half) in an interview in Grazia. They're Louboutins, dahhhling, and I am super jealous.


Epic Grazia Day

So, as every Tuesday is, my day was made brighter by the presence of Grazia (although Angelina was on the cover, blah, let's have someone OTHER than the rotation of Ange/Jen/Cheryl/latherrinserepeat) this issue was even better than ever.
Firstly, because yours truly is featured not once, but TWICE in this prestigious glossy (not only am I Letter of the Week and waiting to receive some fabulous free beauty goodies but one of my fashion musings is featured in 'You the Fashion Jury'. Yes, me, a mere mortal, gets to see her humble opinion of Emily Blunt's dress in print)! Oh yes blog fans, I've made it.
And then, thinking it couldn't get any better, I flipped over to 'Look of the Week' and spotted one of my many YHGCs (Young Hot Girl Crushes), Kristen Stewart, aka the coolest lass in Hollywood (she refuses to go all cutesy and blonde, wears Converse on the red carpet and still has us guessing over whether she and the Pattinson are playing, erm, vampires and mortals off-camera too) at the latest New Moon press circus.
Wearing that.
Oh yes. She's done it again - made a weirdly dodgy outfit look achingly cool. On some perma-tanned sweetly smiling startlet this would look like a leopard, a crocodile and some neon paint had a fight, but on her, well, it still looks like that, but boy do I want to buy it now.
And her hair! This was not the photo I was looking for (buy Grazia to truly appreciate her gorgeousness) but to all the mad fashion-blind people out there who think her waves are the be all and end all, check out this cute crop! Seriously. She's like Winona Ryder, Courtney Cox and Agyness Deyn rolled into one. A truly flawless combo if ever I heard one. I'm more jealous of her outfit and her hair than I am of her 'high status man candy' for the evening.

Yeah, totally. C'mon Robert, I know you're, like, the hottest thing ever, but you could at least have shaved! And Taylor should have kept the long hair and, erm, lost the shirt. Seriously, talk about a rose between two thorns. Though Taylor did make an effort. Never mind, come Friday I'll be able to get my fix of topless werewolf totty. Yay.


(Comfortably) Walking in a Winter Wonderland

No, don't worry. Unlike the rest of the commercially-driven world I refuse to come over all Chritmassy until Advent. So that's two more weeks. I think I can hold off playing 'Fairytale of New York' until then.

But my winter wardrobe is looking totally fabulous, partly thanks to the addition of THESE to my wardrobe.


Ok, so not as cool as they could be, but they are comfortable, cool and leather. Plus they provide vital ankle support and have a tread.
I sound like my grandmother. Well, not my grandmother, but a grandmother. But seriously, so many beautiful heels offer sod all support, and since this is the season of 'all or nothing' when it comes to a heel, a girl's gotta be sensible.

Plus, these are as close to the coveted Burberry pair as I can afford.


Name Drop - Basso and Brooke

Lounging on the sofa at 11am waiting for the postie to deliver my Asos package, I flipped over to E4 and was pleasantly surprised to discover a re-run of Gok's Fashion Fix. Don't get me wrong, though, the real reason I watch this show is not Gok and his, erm, 'styling' (more on what I think of that later) but to see the hardcore fashion porn trotted out by his co-presenter Brix Smith-Start, boutique owner, bombshell blonde and general nutcase (like Lady Gaga's noisy aunt) in her efforts to wow the British public (all Brummie and, judging the fact that Gok wins almost every week, mostly idiots) in the 'catwalk face-off'.This episode saw her take a 'Gok-beater' from the collection of Basso and Brooke, a truly fabulous dress which I only noticed again when a Basso and Brooke feature appeared in this month's Elle. When it trotted down the catwalk next to a monstrosity from H&M I just drooled.
Everything about it is just BEAUTIFUL. The prints are art, simply put. If you'd given Alphonse Mucha a silkscreen and a model, he might have come up with something like this.


Luella - EPIC FAIL

Oh yes. I went there. Paired one of the greatest tragedies of the recession with one of the greatest phrases of disgust. But nothing expresses the crushing horror of the closure of Luella better than the phrase that I pretty much recited on cue during university.

As my fellow blogger at becauseilovemyfashion says, who will Topshop pike their ideas from now? What on EARTH will Alexa Chung wear to premieres and parties? It's a sad day for fashion, folks.


Yesterday's Clothes - A Bit of Viv

As promised, my return to tartan. Admittedly the only tartan I've ever owned before is my school kilt, but this is vintage, so someone definitely pre-loved it. Sadly, it's not Viv, but it's the closest I could get.

Worn with a short dress underneath to stop it looking too frumpy; my mum said it looked very old-fashioned, and with my trusty Thomas Sabo bird skull pendant for added rock cool. And some hot pink/coral lipstick.

And lace gloves, if I can find some long ones. It's getting reeeeeal cold out.


When make-up goes bad...

So, in aid of it being nearly winter and all, I figured it was time to drag up the old femme fatale look and combine it with a little of the pagan terror surrounding the longer nights and shorter, misty days. God I love mist - first true mist of the season today. Couldn't see the other side of the road at 7am this morning.

I woke at 7am, which was a pretty impressive feat considering I was out til 1 last night. Oh yes, RedHead Raver was wild and free and....exhausted, as had been up at 7am the two previous days. No weekend lie-ins! There is no justice. But last night was a Mexican Day of the Dead-themed rave, so I cracked out my ribcage vest, sewed some paper bones to my black skinnies, and then attacked my face with black eyeshadow and my newly acquired.....black lipstick.

This is what I was driving at. All the cool kidettes are wearing black lipstick, apparently. So, like the little shopaholic I am, I hot-footed it to Mac and snapped up the very last 'Cyber', a fabulous deep, deep purple which goes on smooth but does make you look like a drunk when it fades, leaving only that 'too much slurping red wine' stain around the inside of your mouth. But never mind.

Megan Fox does it. And although she's not particular good at anything other than looking like every man's fantasy (why is she not an extra in True Blood yet? She doesn't even need to act, she just needs to stand there and look sultry/slutty) she does nail the black lipstick and 'I will feed on your entrails' eyes. I'm not a fan of entrails (except for liver, and who wants one sullied/pickled by alcohol?) so I just don it to look cool, and to avoid getting the inevitable itchy eyes that is the only result of the equation 'eye make-up+pet rats+slight allergy to everything'. So I get to go easy on the eyes while frantically checking my teeth for lipstick every five seconds. But it's totally worth it.

So this month, it's lipstick or nothing. Red, hot pink (a la Ms Momsen, loving that, and I can sort of get away with it at work) or black. But only in moderation.

Argh! Run from the scary McQueen cannibal clown! Looks fab though.


Contradiction - Being Hair-ist

So I've been perusing the cream of the magazine crop thus far this month (Elle, Glamour) and I have noticed a startling contradiction arising. Glamour devoted a six-page spread to how short hair is 'in' (something no-one seemed to get last year, when the Deyn was on the scene, though even she has started to let it grow) and finally included a section on how to style short hair. But it was a special, dedicated, and no doubt one-off, section. The rest of the magazine was awash with the usual catalogue models, all of whom had long, luxurious hair. All the perfume ads (bar the Ma Dame one, featuring....the Deynster), all the shampoo and hairspray ads....not a single shorthaired girl (that wasn't an international modelling sensation) had made her way onto the pages of Glamour.

That's all well and good, as apparently in real life having short hair dubs you unfanciable, says Johanna Cox in a surprisingly heartfelt column in Elle. She, having bravely gone for 'the chop', found her boyfriend less attracted to her (probably because, now that she had short hair like him, he realised how much hotter she looked with hers than he did with his). There is a bizarre double-standard about hair - we all (well, those with a partial lobotomy) swoon over long-haired Russell Brand, yet when a bloke is confronted with Agyness or Pixie, he pulls a face. Rather like the bored, unimpressed one Peaches is pulling there, while the eternally stylish Pixie, without hair to hide behind, is displaying the confidence needed by girls lopping off the security locks.

No matter how hard the fashionistas scream that short hair is hot, very few women will ever actually 'have the guts' to part with the long, luxurious locks that have been security blanket and uniform since they were little. I stuck out like a sore thumb at school, and still do often. And, secretly (well, not any more) I think that I would look thinner if I had long, luxurious, Leighton-Meester hair.
I will continue with my short hair for as long as I live (unless God gifts me with Leighton's locks overnight, plllleeeeeeease) but I will sigh every time I turn the pages of the fashion mags hoping for a day when short-haired catalogue models hold their own next to long-haired girls, and the glossies run a feature called 'Party Hair for Pixie Cuts'.


Extendable Arms

Totally crazy yet awesome video that I'm raving about - Mowgli's Road by Marina and the Diamonds. Featuring extendable arms, legs and torso. Must be pretty awkward buying clothes.