Well I've returned from my seaside holiday, which, as is true with most British seaside holidays, left a little to be desired. It was soggy, it was chilly, it was free from fit, tanned and tonned beautiful people sunning themselves on pearly sand. Of course it was.
So now I am back, the internet is going wild with the plot of Sherlock and I wasn't watching it, my rat is demolishing my bedframe and no-one calls me anymore. Or rather, I was having a conversation with a friend and the phone cut out, twice, and no returned call. Bleugh.
But I am not turning this into some weepfest as populised by another blogger who I am becoming decidedly tired of due to her weepy tirades and once-in-a-blue-moon posting schedule. I am back, and ready to rock.
I was also gunning to write a sarcastic article on the fickleness of fashion, a tried and tested formula given a new lease of life for AW10. They're busy telling us that extravagant is out, sensible clean tailoring is in, and the women designers are here to help us look great. Ooooh, a beige trousersuit! How CAN I contain my excitement? Ooooh, beautifully cut black work trousers! They will make my legs look long, and lean, and I will look chic and Parisian and corporate and like the sexy ballbuster I've always idolised!
Excuse me while I put my well-worn fraying denim shorts back on.
We're apparently entering a brand new age of minimalist chic, designed to make us look beautifully lean, sophisticated, glorious. A new generation of female designers are paving the way for womens' dressing. Fashion writers are screaming 'this is what you'll be wearing for the next six months', in between pointing out the best aviator jackets and praying for a long winter so they can get maximum wear out of their fluffy capes. Ah personal style and ingenuity, we hardly knew you. My wise mother flipped gamely through a fashion magazine the other day, before proclaiming 'there's no point trying to keep up with fashion, it changes so bloody often'. Amen, Mother. Once you finally nail the slick pantsuit trend, it'll be summer and we'll all be back in festival chic (and I'm looking forward to autumn for the simple reason that I'll be free of the cookie-cutter 'festival clothes' and 'festival hair' articles), and you'll be cool again. I am very very bored of this total lack of ingenuity, plus I'm very sad that these amazing new female designers have given us things that are so effing boring to wear. Give me Westwood. Give me Galliano. Give me something new from the vast ocean of fashion. Everyone's just pinching everyone else's ideas, or recycling their own from two seasons ago. Yves St Laurent had it right that fashion fades but style is eternal. And yes, I got that quote from numerous identikit bloggers. And yes, they probably all look the same. But even though we twenty-somethings supposedly have a long way to go before we nail our style, I'm perfectly happy to stick with that, as opposed to trying to keep up with the carousel of fashion trends. It's exhausting, it's expensive, it's bat-sh** crazy.
Having said that, I am very tempted to go and find some sheepskin to sew into the lining of my brown denim-look jacket.
PS Yes I do really want to work in fashion media, what of it?
PPS I'm sorry, I'm ranting. I'm in one of those inexplicable bad moods.